"In dire circumstances, up against the wall, there are covenants you make with yourself, before the witness, with the gods, the condition of staying awake another night, of dragging my body up in the pre-dawn to face yet another remorseless day: that if I live through this strange test of war, I will never again be the pawn of evil empire, of convention, a prisoner of habit and other people’s expectations, but I will dedicate my life and its fate to the most real, immediate, and personally pleasurable ends.
Getting high, rapture and ecstasy unfettered by duty and war but driven by them; a desire to explode into the molecules of the world, getting down, getting laid, and to go beyond the world, to follow mystic threads, other conceptions of reality, people who glow, the divine; to express myself and be myself, and to throw my razor into the sea."
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